Sept. 4, 2025

S3-Epi 61 TECC "The Boy Behind The Name : Jeremy From Pearl Jam"

S3-Epi 61 TECC "The Boy Behind The Name : Jeremy From Pearl Jam"

Send us a text -The Effin’ CrunchCrew — “Jeremy: The Boy Behind the Song” Today on The Effin’ CrunchCrew, things get deep. Spook discovers that he and Jeremy — the boy behind Pearl Jam’s haunting anthem — actually went to school together. Same hallways, same yearbook, just six months before tragedy struck. But was the whole song really about Jeremy? We dig into the truth — and Eddie Vedder’s other inspiration for those lyrics. Of course, this wouldn’t be The CrunchCrew without a little chaos....

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Season 3

Send us a text

-The Effin’ CrunchCrew — “Jeremy: The Boy Behind the Song”

Today on The Effin’ CrunchCrew, things get deep. Spook discovers that he and Jeremy — the boy behind Pearl Jam’s haunting anthem — actually went to school together. Same hallways, same yearbook, just six months before tragedy struck. But was the whole song really about Jeremy? We dig into the truth — and Eddie Vedder’s other inspiration for those lyrics.

Of course, this wouldn’t be The CrunchCrew without a little chaos. Pinkie gets accused of aiding and abetting two fugitives, Spook admits he might’ve been a snitch at 7 years old (“You didn’t see anything!” — “Shooottt yes I did!”), and we ask the real questions: Have any of the crew been traumatized? What do silent screams of depression sound like? And more importantly — who can help when nobody’s listening?

 Help is available 988 Lifeline or 1-800-273-8255 (24/7) 

WEBVTT

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Today on The Effin' Crunch Crew, it's story time.

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Now, I know I've been taking us for little rides here about people I went to high school with, some who got murdered, but this one takes the cake.

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I did not realize until just yesterday that I went to school with the boy behind the song, Jeremy.

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Yeah, we're talking about Pearl Jam.

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So, kick back, relax, and let's get into it.

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Coming up next on The Effin' Crunch Crew.

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Yeah.

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Coming to you live on the air.

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You better

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ask

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somebody.

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Warning.

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We recognize that the views and opinions expressed on the FN Crunch Crew show may be offensive to some listeners.

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Please accept this as our advance warning and apology.

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Now, stop being little bitches and let's get this Effin" show on the road.

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Take it away, Spook.

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You can't stop

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O Oh, yeah.

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It's your boy, Big Spook.

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Pinkie!

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And Loca Lisa.

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And we are.

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Oh, Pan Blanco's not here.

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He's gone.

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But we are.

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The Effin' CrunchCrew.

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So kick back, relax.

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How y'all all doing?

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Pinkie's in

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the house.

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I'm COVID free.

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So this show is going to take off with kind of like me just being the narrator and then afterwards we will go into and discuss it and then we'll do our regular stuff.

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So we're going to pick up on it right about now.

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So y'all kick back and listen.

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January 8th, 1991.

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A cold morning in Richardson, Texas.

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At Richardson High School, students walked into their classrooms like any other day.

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But for 15-year-old Jeremy Wade Delle, this day would be his last.

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What happened in that classroom would not only shock his classmates, his teachers, and the entire Dallas area, but years later, it would echo across the world in one of the most haunting rock songs ever written.

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Jeremy Wade Delle was just a kid, a 15-year-old boy from Richardson, Texas, who, like so many other teenagers, struggled.

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Teachers described him as artistic, a quiet, sometimes troubled young man who had bounced between living with his mother and his father after their divorce.

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Court documents showed he had already been dealing with truancy issues, skipping classes, struggling to stay motivated, Some classmates said he seemed withdrawn.

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Others remember him as someone who wanted to fit in, but carried a heavy sadness.

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His story was the story of so many kids, a little lost, a little overlooked, carrying pain he couldn't always show.

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That morning, Jeremy showed up late to class.

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He had a pass in hand, but not from the office.

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Instead, he carried something far more devastating.

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In front of the classroom full of students, Jeremy pulled out a handgun, raised it, put it in his mouth, and pulled the trigger before anyone could stop him.

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The room was frozen, shocked, terrified.

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His classmates ran screaming into the hallways.

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His teacher, traumatized, would never be the same.

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It wasn't just another tragedy in Dallas.

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It was a moment that would travel far beyond Richardson High.

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Now, here's where the story took a turn into music history.

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Across the country in Seattle, a rising band called Pearl Jam had just started making waves.

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Their lead singer, Eddie Vedder, was reading the morning paper and came across Jeremy's story.

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The headline, the details, the haunting reality of a young boy who felt invisible.

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It stuck with him.

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Vedder later said, I remember reading about it and being struck by how it said he tried to speak, but no one was really listening.

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And that's when he decided to speak the loudest way possible.

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And out of that, the song Jeremy was born.

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With its chilling chorus, Jeremy spoke in class today.

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Eddie Vedder turned a local Dallas tragedy into a worldwide anthem about youth despair, alienation, and the dangers of silence.

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When Pearl Jam released Jeremy in 1992, It hit hard.

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The music video, with its disturbing imagery of a boy standing before his classmates, became iconic.

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But here's the thing.

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Many who saw it didn't know the real Jeremy.

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They didn't know Jeremy Wade Dell, the teenager from Richardson who loved art, who was trying to find his place in a world that didn't seem to make space for him.

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His classmates carried that day with them forever.

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For them, it wasn't just a song.

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It was real.

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And to this day, Richardson High School remembers.

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Jeremy's story became bigger than Dallas, bigger than Texas.

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It became a warning and a reminder about what happens when we don't hear the voices of our young, the hurting and the invisible.

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So next time you hear that haunting Pearl Jam track, think of Jeremy Wade Delle.

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Think of the boy from Richardson, Texas, and the echo of his final words that still ripple through speakers more than 30 years later.

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Jeremy spoke in class today.

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So first off, what'd y'all think about that?

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I never knew.

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I think you and I were talking about this earlier.

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I never knew that I knew what he was, who he was talking about, but I didn't know he was from Richardson.

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Yeah.

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And I found out so much going into this because as I was doing research on it, I heard the song like last week and I'm like, man, that was a badass song.

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And I remember it took place in Richardson.

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And what's funny is my kids went to school there.

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Their mom went to school there, you know, and I looked at it was 1991 whenever he took his life but I started looking into it deeper and I remember seeing the picture that would come up with it and I said that kid looks so familiar right and I looked at the picture and I'm like I know the kids around him in the picture like I remember them because but they were at my school they were at my high school and I said there's no way so I looked it up and I said well before he killed himself at Richardson High School did he go to any other high school?

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To my shock, I went to school with him.

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That's crazy.

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Was it like he went to your school freshman year and then moved to Richardson the year after?

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Yes, so his parents got divorced while he was at Bryan Adams High School.

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They split up, so he ended up staying with his dad.

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His dad lived in Richardson area.

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He went to school there and he was a freshman I was a sophomore.

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And I remember vividly because I have the yearbook, right?

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So I came home and I opened up the yearbook and he was in there.

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And it was the picture that I've seen always because in freshman year, our cousin Junior was a freshman during this time at BA, at Brown Adams too.

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So I remember looking at it and I had to walk out of my office because I'm like, that is so close to home to have a song so iconic be that close, right?

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I thought me living in Richardson was close enough.

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You know what I'm saying?

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And then I thought, well, my kids went there and their mom went there.

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That was close enough.

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But to even be that much closer to what's like almost a full circle for me that we went to school together.

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We were in the same we're in the same freaking, you know, yearbook.

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And I'm like, holy crap.

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Yeah, I thought it happened at, you know, where he went to where he went to freshman because I was like, oh, my gosh.

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So right now, when we talked about it before we started recording, when you told me that it it wasn't and that it was in Richardson I was like oh man this whole time I thought it was

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you thought it was Bryan Adams yeah I thought it was Bryan Adams yeah I I knew it was Richardson after the fact because I remember back in the day I was like okay where did this kid kill himself and stuff like that gets me like if we hear a song and somebody tells me oh man that happened in like Wichita I'm like what what way what part of Wichita I've been there before you know well I wanted to know and then to find out it happened here you know in the city that I live in it was just crazy um But then it went deeper because I went to school together.

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I went to Bryan Adams in Dallas.

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That's where I went to.

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And when I saw that, I was just blown away.

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But it went even deeper than that because I talked to a friend of mine and I didn't know he had siblings.

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And I talked to this friend today and I was like, my friend was telling me, I said, hey, we're doing a podcast show about Jeremy, the song that Pearl Jam wrote.

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And she was like, Joe, his sister was one of my best friends.

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I was like, what?

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Like, what the fuck?

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I didn't know he had a sister.

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Was she older?

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She was older, yeah.

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She was older.

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And I was like, okay.

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And sure enough, man, I was looking at her and she sent me a picture to see her.

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And I was like, okay.

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I said, I don't think I remember her.

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Like, I don't remember her.

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Maybe.

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And then she sent me a picture to see.

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But anyways, beyond that, I was like, wow, this is deep.

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So I started looking at Eddie Vedder.

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Like, what made made him write about this song because the kid, Jeremy, was very artistic.

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I don't know how he was in BA.

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Could it happen there?

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Was he that depressed?

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A lot had to do with his parents being divorced and split.

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That affects kids a lot, especially at that age.

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At that teenage, 15 years old, you think it's your fault or something happened, and I hate that.

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But at the same time, I'm thinking to myself, it happened here and it says he couldn't get along with people here.

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He didn't have a place to fit when he transferred to BA.

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And he transferred at the time where he was going to be a sophomore, right?

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So whenever he started school in Richardson, he became a sophomore.

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And he was only there for like six months, I want to say.

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But he came in and he started rebelling against everything his home he saw counselors with his dad because he was getting in trouble at school and so they set up counselors to meet with him and his father and I'm not sure if his mom did anything but it talked about that and that he just felt alone he became friends with this one girl at Richardson High School that she talks about it in one of the interviews I saw and he was basically it was like whenever you go to school and you get in trouble, you go to detention or whatever it is.

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So he was in detention a lot, and so was she.

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And they would write each other notes, and on the note, he would say, write back.

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And she would get it, read it, and she would

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write back.

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We used to do that, I remember.

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We used to do that, and then W, and then the WB.

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Yeah, yeah, so to write back.

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So he said, he would say, write back, write back, and it happened to go on a lot.

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She said the last time she got one from him, he put something like, I don't know if this is, don't quote me on this, see you on the other side or see you.

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So he had already had in his head that something was going to happen, right?

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And she thought that was weird because that was the last message she got from him on paper.

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Can I read this, what I just found about that?

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I guess it's about that.

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It says, Jeremy Wade Delle was a quiet student known for his sadness.

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After arriving late to class, he was sent to the principal's office to fill out a tardy slip.

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He returned to the classroom with a .35 357 Magnum Revolver, I don't know how you say that.

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Yeah, yeah, 357.

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Stated, Miss, I got what I really went for.

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Put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger before anyone could react.

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Yeah,

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yeah.

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That is so freaking sad.

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I was going to

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tell you that because the teacher, when he walked in, it was an English class.

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And the teacher's name started with an F.

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I forgot her whole name.

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But yeah, he did say that.

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And that was also said on another thing that I heard.

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So the same words that you just said is what he said to the teacher.

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He had been in trouble.

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He'd always be late for this English class, and that particular day he went out, got his gun, came back in.

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Where he got the gun, they still don't know, which is weird.

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So a student...

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Meaning it wasn't missing from his parents?

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Yeah, they couldn't figure...

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I don't know if they figured it out now, but from what I saw research, they didn't tell me anything.

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I didn't learn anything.

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What I did know was the people who witnessed it Witnessed by this meaning the people who sat in this classroom but the people outside the classroom who were in the hallways there was one kid and he said that he was getting into his locker and he was working his combination and he heard something and he said he thought it was like a heavy book that slammed to the ground and come to find out it was a gun going off.

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He said he thought it was a book until a girl ran out of that classroom yelling a blonde girl ran out she was yelling and crying, and then he peeked in and he saw Jeremy's body on the ground, gun next to him, and blood everywhere.

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And then he saw students holding up the teacher because the teacher was in shock, like she almost fainted.

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And I was like, whoa.

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And then to go even further than that, I met somebody who was actually in the class when that happened, right, as a student.

00:15:29.434 --> 00:15:38.565
And I never talked to them about it because I really don't know them that well but to find out that they were in the class at that time was kind of like creepy

00:15:38.705 --> 00:15:51.479
as hell yeah what was that experience like I know in the video there's like kids with their like shocked face and like blood splatter on their face and they're all wearing white that's exactly what he was talking about earlier

00:15:51.499 --> 00:16:06.274
they're all wearing white and shit and so the director of the video had put it together to you know they read up on everything so the song itself I gotta get to that point Eddie Vedder wrote the song but he he never knew Jeremy.

00:16:06.274 --> 00:16:13.062
But one of the sentences he says, clearly I remember picking on the boy.

00:16:13.062 --> 00:16:15.083
Okay, but how do you do that?

00:16:15.083 --> 00:16:21.990
So he, in an interview, said that the song was about Jeremy and another boy named Brian.

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Brian went to school with him when he was in high school.

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And he would always get into a fight with this kid.

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And this kid had a similarity that Jeremy had.

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He brought a gun to school, but he brought it to shoot up the place.

00:16:37.467 --> 00:16:38.889
Oh, dang.

00:16:38.889 --> 00:16:40.211
So he didn't shoot nobody.

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He didn't hit nobody, but he did get in trouble for it.

00:16:42.273 --> 00:16:44.836
So he would always pick on this kid.

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They'd fight, and this kid actually hit him in the face with his left hook or whatever.

00:16:49.760 --> 00:16:51.643
It was just something that he threw in the song.

00:16:51.643 --> 00:16:53.183
But I was like, damn.

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Okay, so he put these together, and the video itself was they wore white.

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They were in the classroom, and they all pointed at Jeremy.

00:17:01.653 --> 00:17:04.016
Yeah, they were all almost like, huh?

00:17:04.016 --> 00:17:04.676
Yeah,

00:17:04.836 --> 00:17:05.458
laughing at him.

00:17:05.458 --> 00:17:06.137
Look at you.

00:17:06.659 --> 00:17:14.727
And so people who watched this video at first thought it was about a kid who went into a classroom and shot the students.

00:17:14.727 --> 00:17:19.152
Because you notice on their faces, they just paused like they're dead.

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They actually have the blood splatter from him shooting himself.

00:17:23.237 --> 00:17:25.739
And people didn't realize that at first.

00:17:25.739 --> 00:17:29.522
And I was like, damn, that's pretty crazy.

00:17:29.522 --> 00:17:58.074
So they talk about him painting in his video like he's got a vivid vivid mindset of colors like he talks about the sun being orange and yellows and these v-shaped hands up in the air and i saw an actual painting that that uh Jeremy did and it was beautiful he's 15 year old he had great talent it was a painting of this elephant and the elephant looks so real i was like man that is awesome this kid had really good talent

00:17:59.095 --> 00:18:01.738
i read that he had won an award at the state fair

00:18:02.018 --> 00:18:05.320
oh he did i didn't read that part That's how good he was.

00:18:05.320 --> 00:18:07.304
He was a really, really talented kid, man.

00:18:07.304 --> 00:18:14.932
I was like, dude, for him to go through whatever he was going through and take it out on himself like that, that's horrible.

00:18:14.932 --> 00:18:16.913
But I remember looking at it.

00:18:16.913 --> 00:18:22.980
And so I asked my son, I said, hey, do you remember that song?

00:18:22.980 --> 00:18:23.980
It's way before your time.

00:18:23.980 --> 00:18:25.502
And he's like, oh, yeah.

00:18:25.502 --> 00:18:30.729
He goes, that classroom was next door to a classroom that I used to go to.

00:18:30.729 --> 00:18:32.510
And it's still there.

00:18:32.510 --> 00:18:39.778
So during the shooting this is fucking weird nobody got sent home they continued school

00:18:40.519 --> 00:18:41.359
that's crazy

00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:57.277
like nowadays you fucking find a gun you're gone right no they continued school you could go home if your parents came to pick you up but they continued it and they had a bunch of counselors come in to help counsel the kids I won't give a fuck I'm leaving I don't want to be there how

00:18:57.356 --> 00:19:04.845
could you in a room full of blood or if you find out if your son calls you and is like oh my god this kid just blew his his head off in the class

00:19:04.884 --> 00:19:05.125
yeah

00:19:05.425 --> 00:19:06.946
you're gonna be like I'm about to pick you up

00:19:07.268 --> 00:19:13.954
well remember there was no phones back then like kids can afford phones back then yeah that's true we had brick phones and shit back then if you had one you

00:19:14.695 --> 00:19:23.724
know so imagine imagine if your son comes home at the end of the day like a four o'clock and he's like guess what happened at 8 30 yeah and you're like what the school didn't even it

00:19:23.765 --> 00:19:24.526
was nine something

00:19:24.546 --> 00:19:31.493
yeah yeah like you're like dang you they didn't let us know or they didn't notify the parents they didn't let anybody go home oh they're

00:19:31.513 --> 00:19:34.696
being some deep shit nowadays yeah like uh you You should have called me.

00:19:34.696 --> 00:19:36.278
Like, what the fuck's wrong with y'all?

00:19:36.278 --> 00:19:40.242
So yeah, they kept the school open, which I found very fucking weird.

00:19:40.242 --> 00:19:41.544
Like, why would you do that?

00:19:41.544 --> 00:19:45.127
Especially after a shooting and somebody, I don't know.

00:19:45.127 --> 00:19:47.250
That was kind of weird to me to find that out.

00:19:47.250 --> 00:19:50.874
But yeah, so he wrote this song about him.

00:19:50.874 --> 00:20:00.023
And then as I was reading more about it, the kid who played him in the video actually died too.

00:20:00.585 --> 00:20:00.845
What?

00:20:01.405 --> 00:20:01.645
Yeah.

00:20:01.645 --> 00:20:03.468
He died at a later age.

00:20:03.468 --> 00:20:05.430
That was his only thing he was ever on.

00:20:05.430 --> 00:20:06.530
He was on nothing else.

00:20:06.530 --> 00:20:07.872
No movies, no other video.

00:20:07.872 --> 00:20:08.772
That was the only video.

00:20:08.772 --> 00:20:15.180
They only got him because he looked like him a little bit, not much, after I saw the pictures.

00:20:15.180 --> 00:20:17.903
But yeah, so he went.

00:20:17.903 --> 00:20:20.266
They won awards for it, MTV Awards or whatever.

00:20:20.266 --> 00:20:23.469
And the kid ended up dying at...

00:20:23.469 --> 00:20:25.451
He wasn't a kid when he died.

00:20:25.451 --> 00:20:27.252
He was like 30-something years old.

00:20:27.252 --> 00:20:29.596
But he died of a weird-ass accident.

00:20:29.596 --> 00:20:31.096
And I was like, that's fucked up.

00:20:31.096 --> 00:21:16.105
But I thought that was crazy that that shit all happened and I was like damn dude this was too close to home for me it's like and it still shocks me that number one it's full circle now like this song has made it the whole world around everybody knows this beat this song like Jeremy spoke in class everybody knows those words and I was like dude that's that's freaking crazy I mean Pinkie said she remembers hearing it like when you but I was so young I mean when it happened I was 11 but then I was reading throughout I guess the video didn't actually that's probably why I said it was like 93 for me because the video that's when the video was recognized

00:21:16.445 --> 00:21:34.285
yeah because 92 was the album they had that was their that was their debut album was 10 was the name of the album and that was one of the top three songs on their album of all time and I was like damn so 91 You were just 11?

00:21:34.285 --> 00:21:34.565
11.

00:21:35.486 --> 00:21:36.666
Fuck, I was already out of school.

00:21:37.627 --> 00:21:38.229
Were you really?

00:21:38.229 --> 00:21:39.069
No.

00:21:39.549 --> 00:21:39.810
I was...

00:21:39.810 --> 00:21:43.334
I want to say I was supposed to graduate in 90, 91.

00:21:43.334 --> 00:21:44.556
Yeah.

00:21:45.737 --> 00:21:47.038
Damn, you old.

00:21:47.038 --> 00:21:47.499
Oh, really?

00:21:47.499 --> 00:21:47.919
Just kidding.

00:21:47.919 --> 00:21:49.861
No, I'm kidding.

00:21:49.861 --> 00:21:51.063
Yeah, 91.

00:21:51.063 --> 00:21:53.345
So, 93 by the time the video came out.

00:21:53.826 --> 00:21:55.487
It's crazy because I was driving with...

00:21:55.487 --> 00:22:00.952
I was driving with Jojo and his girlfriend and I said, why are you so quiet?

00:22:00.952 --> 00:22:02.654
I was telling them the story about it and...

00:22:02.654 --> 00:22:05.597
She was like, man, you got a lot of connections.

00:22:05.597 --> 00:22:06.778
I said, what do you mean?

00:22:06.778 --> 00:22:08.981
She goes, well, you do.

00:22:08.981 --> 00:22:11.845
You can look at this story you're talking about.

00:22:11.845 --> 00:22:13.866
You're connected to it in a certain way.

00:22:13.866 --> 00:22:19.613
And then the story you told about, we talked about last time when you weren't here, you were sick.

00:22:19.613 --> 00:22:22.155
We were talking about the Blockbuster murders.

00:22:22.155 --> 00:22:32.026
That was a connection for actually Lisa and me because our cousin was supposed to work that night at that Blockbuster, which he would have been dead a lot sooner than what he is now.

00:22:32.026 --> 00:22:45.079
He's passed for a couple years now but yeah he that night I remember that guy who went in and killed them he killed one of the guys I went to school with too so it's like it's weird it's

00:22:45.201 --> 00:22:45.780
all in the hood

00:22:46.561 --> 00:23:26.284
all in the hood everything leads back to Texas yeah I want you to do that this one guy one time told me this one of my friends actually he came to an interview with us Ducato Vega he always told me when we were younger he'd be like you know everything leads to Texas he's from the Louisiana I said what do you mean he goes just watch from now on and see what at least happens you know anything news anything that happens serial killers whether it's something that's happening with the war whatever it leads back to Texas and everything leads back to Texas I thought that was crazy yeah you missed it man I would love to hear what you had to say today sucker talking about he working working

00:23:26.724 --> 00:23:27.885
I think he's at home asleep

00:23:27.945 --> 00:23:30.588
he's out there playing with Gus Gus and feeding coyotes

00:23:31.750 --> 00:23:34.272
I think he had I think he had too hard Hot dogs for dinner.

00:23:34.292 --> 00:23:35.213
Oh, damn.

00:23:35.213 --> 00:23:35.954
He probably did.

00:23:35.954 --> 00:23:36.035
Hot

00:23:36.654 --> 00:23:36.736
dogs.

00:23:36.736 --> 00:23:36.816
Him

00:23:36.955 --> 00:23:38.837
and his dogs.

00:23:38.837 --> 00:23:40.500
Snuggled up with the dogs.

00:23:40.519 --> 00:23:41.299
With Gus Gus.

00:23:41.299 --> 00:23:43.142
Stupid ass Gus.

00:23:43.643 --> 00:23:45.684
I thought about him for Bella's birthday.

00:23:45.684 --> 00:23:49.689
She had a pool party and we served hot dogs.

00:23:50.190 --> 00:23:50.650
Oh, hell.

00:23:50.650 --> 00:23:53.212
Yeah, no, that's his favorite food of all time.

00:23:53.212 --> 00:23:54.714
I understand that, boy.

00:23:55.075 --> 00:23:57.337
But they were the Costco hot dogs, so you know those are better.

00:23:57.377 --> 00:23:58.419
The Costco?

00:23:58.419 --> 00:23:58.959
Yeah.

00:23:58.959 --> 00:24:01.382
I mean, Sam's and Costco to me have the same dogs.

00:24:01.382 --> 00:24:03.344
They're the same.

00:24:03.344 --> 00:24:04.204
prices, man.

00:24:04.204 --> 00:24:06.527
So it's like $1.50.

00:24:06.527 --> 00:24:08.609
It's $1.38 at Sam's.

00:24:08.890 --> 00:24:09.109
Really?

00:24:09.109 --> 00:24:10.250
For the hot dog?

00:24:10.250 --> 00:24:10.372
For

00:24:10.412 --> 00:24:10.832
the drink

00:24:11.172 --> 00:24:12.334
and the fucking hot dog.

00:24:12.334 --> 00:24:12.814
Oh, okay.

00:24:12.814 --> 00:24:13.855
Well, it's $1.50 at

00:24:14.955 --> 00:24:15.396
Costco.

00:24:15.396 --> 00:24:16.198
Have you had their pizza?

00:24:16.198 --> 00:24:17.538
Do they serve pizza at Costco?

00:24:17.538 --> 00:24:18.079
They do.

00:24:18.079 --> 00:24:18.180
Yeah.

00:24:18.180 --> 00:24:19.480
Holy shit, they're good.

00:24:19.480 --> 00:24:21.282
So Sam's has a badass pizza.

00:24:21.282 --> 00:24:25.106
I'm like, dude, I could buy a whole large pizza and bring it home, which I've done before.

00:24:25.106 --> 00:24:26.949
And it's good.

00:24:26.949 --> 00:24:29.092
Like, it's really, there's nothing bad about it.

00:24:29.092 --> 00:24:30.113
Everything's good about it.

00:24:30.113 --> 00:24:31.374
I'm like, damn, it's really

00:24:31.394 --> 00:24:31.473
good.

00:24:31.473 --> 00:24:32.875
I always tell Bella, I'm like, we should go.

00:24:32.875 --> 00:24:35.317
I I don't have one that close to me.

00:24:35.317 --> 00:24:38.200
I mean, it's like 15 minutes for me, 15, 20.

00:24:38.200 --> 00:24:42.364
But if it was closer, I'd probably be eating there regularly.

00:24:42.364 --> 00:24:45.527
Just go in, get some food.

00:24:45.527 --> 00:24:47.808
Get what you need and walk out.

00:24:47.969 --> 00:24:52.373
I like it when they have them on the outside where you don't actually have to go in.

00:24:52.373 --> 00:24:53.232
They

00:24:53.252 --> 00:24:53.814
have them on the

00:24:53.834 --> 00:24:54.034
outside?

00:24:54.034 --> 00:24:55.955
Yeah, almost like a walk-up window.

00:24:55.955 --> 00:24:56.296
Is

00:24:56.316 --> 00:24:57.116
this Costco though?

00:24:57.116 --> 00:24:57.576
Yeah.

00:24:57.576 --> 00:24:58.978
Oh, so you

00:24:59.018 --> 00:24:59.578
have to go in.

00:24:59.578 --> 00:24:59.618
I

00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:01.359
want a Costco.

00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:02.902
Excuse me, I want a Costco card.

00:25:02.902 --> 00:25:06.359
I want to go check it out because we've been going to Sam's forever.

00:25:06.359 --> 00:25:10.103
And I told Angela, I said, you get a Costco card, I have the Sam's card.

00:25:10.103 --> 00:25:10.604
Yeah.

00:25:10.604 --> 00:25:13.405
And let's just go back and forth, you know, whatever we want to do.

00:25:13.405 --> 00:25:17.150
Because I think Costco has things that Sam's doesn't.

00:25:17.150 --> 00:25:19.310
Yeah, they do that.

00:25:19.310 --> 00:25:21.032
They sell liquor at Costco?

00:25:22.453 --> 00:25:23.575
No, they sell wine.

00:25:23.575 --> 00:25:24.435
I could have

00:25:24.476 --> 00:25:29.380
swore somebody told me they sell liquor there and I don't think they do it at Sam's, but they do sell wine and beers at Sam's.

00:25:29.380 --> 00:25:30.500
I know that much.

00:25:30.500 --> 00:25:31.781
Look how we jumped 80 years.

00:25:31.781 --> 00:25:34.444
Went from suicide to Well,

00:25:34.464 --> 00:25:37.548
y'all said hot dogs, and we kind of went off on

00:25:37.587 --> 00:25:37.748
that.

00:25:37.748 --> 00:25:38.808
We said Blanco.

00:25:38.808 --> 00:25:40.090
That's all I needed.

00:25:40.230 --> 00:25:41.432
If he didn't have hot dogs.

00:25:41.432 --> 00:25:42.212
Oh, my

00:25:42.252 --> 00:25:42.512
God.

00:25:42.512 --> 00:25:44.955
Okay, let me go back to the story.

00:25:44.955 --> 00:26:05.218
So if anybody out there has anything like stories, or I know a lot of people who went to BA, and if you knew about this, him going to school with us, and if you didn't know about it, I'd like to hear y'all's comment, or if you had a class with him, or if you remember anything about him, even from Richardson High school hit us

00:26:05.357 --> 00:26:06.739
up on did you hear about it

00:26:06.939 --> 00:26:19.212
yeah what did you hear about it were you in the classroom like the person that i i know which was crazy but um yeah i couldn't only imagine what it would be like if i was in that classroom like would i be more fucked up than i am now

00:26:19.232 --> 00:26:20.913
i guess i really didn't experience much

00:26:21.535 --> 00:26:29.383
that's i mean you realize that like if you were in a classroom and some shit like this happened how are you as an adult today

00:26:30.183 --> 00:26:30.484
yeah

00:26:31.465 --> 00:26:38.752
like i don't know i mean what's the most what's most weirdest or mind blowing thing happened to you

00:26:38.772 --> 00:26:39.934
and how did it affect you

00:26:40.615 --> 00:26:52.688
yeah did it affect you you how about you have you had anything happen to you like anything it don't have to be like a shooting or like somebody bust their knee open or fucking twist an ankle really bad I

00:26:52.929 --> 00:26:55.010
mean my parents fought in a restaurant

00:26:58.253 --> 00:26:59.875
was that when all our aunts were in there

00:27:00.175 --> 00:27:02.459
all the family was up in the circle girl that

00:27:02.499 --> 00:27:04.381
was a that was a family of right there

00:27:04.401 --> 00:27:07.304
that could man that could have been on a episode of something

00:27:07.483 --> 00:27:17.375
that shit right there I would have had his own show like literally would have had his own fucking show Pinky do you remember anything that tragically happened and did it affect you in any way as a youngster

00:27:17.414 --> 00:27:19.936
as a youngster no

00:27:20.538 --> 00:27:20.738
no

00:27:22.440 --> 00:27:22.740
I'm trying to

00:27:22.779 --> 00:27:26.084
think what is the what is the most weirdest so in high school what happened

00:27:26.503 --> 00:27:36.194
well I mean I know that there were oh my god we were like freaking seven eight years old My parents were out of the house.

00:27:36.194 --> 00:27:38.537
Nobody died or anything like that.

00:27:38.537 --> 00:27:42.801
But the police were after this couple.

00:27:42.801 --> 00:27:48.907
And somehow me and my siblings allowed these people to come and hide in our home while my parents were away.

00:27:48.907 --> 00:27:52.352
I don't even know what brought this up just now.

00:27:52.352 --> 00:27:53.212
I guess your question.

00:27:53.212 --> 00:27:56.415
But the police was all in our house.

00:27:56.415 --> 00:27:57.396
My parents got home.

00:27:57.396 --> 00:27:58.919
They're like, what the hell is going on?

00:27:58.919 --> 00:28:00.381
And we're like, we don't know.

00:28:00.381 --> 00:28:03.503
And the couple was pushing on the door.

00:28:03.503 --> 00:28:04.925
so the cops wouldn't come in

00:28:05.086 --> 00:28:05.346
yeah

00:28:05.866 --> 00:28:12.133
and we're just like we didn't know what the hell we just were letting I honestly don't remember

00:28:12.173 --> 00:28:14.695
how long were you in prison is what I need to

00:28:14.715 --> 00:28:15.457
know like what the

00:28:15.777 --> 00:28:16.298
fuck like that's

00:28:16.317 --> 00:28:22.644
some like well if you must know I was in there for a year what was they calling it a bank I'm kidding I was never in prison

00:28:23.265 --> 00:28:46.930
holy shit isn't that crazy that's nuts like I've had some shit happen when I was a kid okay so one thing that happened when I was a kid was I lived with my we lived with a okay let me back it up lisa's mom was the youngest of the sisters right and uncle peter was the youngest well he was second youngest oh no he was the baby wasn't he

00:28:47.411 --> 00:28:48.172
he is the baby he's

00:28:48.192 --> 00:28:55.219
the baby yeah so i remember all of us live with grandma and grandpa on gaston avenue and down in dallas

00:28:55.880 --> 00:28:56.480
all of who

00:28:56.701 --> 00:29:05.871
like it was your mom it was uncle peter it was my mom myself uh I want to say Aunt Lucy, maybe not.

00:29:06.510 --> 00:29:07.392
Josie, probably.

00:29:07.712 --> 00:29:11.115
Josie was already off with Domingo.

00:29:11.115 --> 00:29:13.898
I think my mom had already gotten divorced.

00:29:13.898 --> 00:29:15.941
So we're living with grandma and grandpa.

00:29:16.182 --> 00:29:16.422
Okay.

00:29:17.042 --> 00:29:17.303
Okay.

00:29:17.303 --> 00:29:21.346
So this house, the next door neighbor was this old black man.

00:29:21.346 --> 00:29:24.309
And it kind of reminds me of Sanford's son, like this guy.

00:29:24.309 --> 00:29:27.394
He would dress that way and he'd always come outside.

00:29:27.394 --> 00:29:31.017
Grandpa would say hi to him and they, you know, just a little short talk.

00:29:31.017 --> 00:30:06.094
One day, I'm there at home and I'm on the front porch and our front porch didn't have a screen but it was big enough for us you know it was a nice old house I don't know if it's still there or not but anyways I remember looking next door and the old man wasn't there and I want to say he used to go collect junk like metal shit and sell it well I remember these two guys and this had to be the 70s late 70s because I remember they had this long fluffy hair and they were white guys one of them had Had a mustache with not even a whole goatee.

00:30:06.094 --> 00:30:08.236
It was a goatee, but no beard.

00:30:08.236 --> 00:30:13.079
And then the other guy, they were both wearing blue jean jackets and blue jeans.

00:30:13.079 --> 00:30:15.482
And they were walking around his house.

00:30:15.482 --> 00:30:17.964
And I was like, what the fuck these guys doing?

00:30:17.964 --> 00:30:18.505
This is weird.

00:30:18.505 --> 00:30:19.086
I was a kid.

00:30:19.086 --> 00:30:20.126
I didn't know what the fuck was happening.

00:30:20.126 --> 00:30:26.231
Well, I'm up there watching and I see them coming back and forth taking stuff to their car.

00:30:26.231 --> 00:30:28.554
I had to be like eight years old, maybe.

00:30:28.554 --> 00:30:29.515
Eight or nine.

00:30:29.515 --> 00:30:37.285
And I'm looking and the police come over And the man from next door comes, he gets home and he's like, he just got robbed.

00:30:37.285 --> 00:30:38.125
There's something happening.

00:30:38.125 --> 00:30:40.248
He didn't want to know if anybody saw anything.

00:30:40.248 --> 00:30:42.890
And mom and all them, I don't know, nobody saw anything.

00:30:42.890 --> 00:30:46.732
And, you know, grandpa was like, no, I was at work, nobody saw anything.

00:30:46.732 --> 00:30:49.756
And they don't want you, if you saw something, you didn't see nothing.

00:30:49.756 --> 00:30:50.296
You know what I'm saying?

00:30:50.296 --> 00:30:50.957
It's that type of shit.

00:30:50.957 --> 00:30:56.060
I said, out of the blue, I peeked my head and I said, I saw, I saw two white men.

00:30:56.060 --> 00:31:02.846
Man, my mom pushed me back in and she didn't see nothing.

00:31:02.846 --> 00:31:05.309
I said, no, I did and they said we need to talk to him

00:31:05.349 --> 00:31:06.211
and

00:31:06.250 --> 00:32:02.611
I remember them coming and pulling me out and my mom was like freaking out and everybody was like listening to me through the door and my mom was standing out there and I think grandpa was out there and I told them what they looked like and who they were but I remember one of the guys with the mustache he turned and looked at me I guess he didn't think twice well that kid ain't gonna fucking remember me he's a fucking kid I remembered to the T found out like maybe a couple days later they caught them it was a father and son duo who would go and break into people's houses and take shit so that started me off as thinking as a young kid damn I just saw a robbery you know what I'm saying this is a robbery that just happened in front of the house in the 70s and I'm looking at this shit and they're walking around carrying things out from my next door neighbor did it traumatize me no but it made me think of shit different it made me think of okay not everybody's nice them white guys they bad they

00:32:02.671 --> 00:32:07.455
bad as hell especially if they have a long mustache with no

00:32:07.496 --> 00:32:12.761
beard no beard mustache he had like I call them motorcycle handlebars something like that that's what

00:32:12.781 --> 00:32:13.162
it looked like

00:32:13.682 --> 00:33:25.660
I was like this fucker hair man so I remember that happening and then when I got inside they were like you can't be doing that the only thing that traumatized me at that house was I got up one night to get some water and I was a kid I went to the kitchen and I remember there was this orange fucking chair an old ass 70s orange chair it was by the telephone and I went and got water and I screamed and yelled like a little bitch because there was a fucking rat as big as like as big as a man's shoe and I was a kid and that bitch ran around me on the wall and ran underneath my legs and I screamed and yelled and here comes grandma running in you know with her nightgown and grandpa gets up blah blah blah and I said and she goes matala you got to kill those damn we'll kill it so i remember that we had these big rats and they fucking it traumatized me to the point when i was older and i found a fucking mouse in my house i was like fuck it brought me back to life when i was a kid that's the only thing that traumatized me so i can only imagine being there and seeing somebody go up to the front of the room and shoot themselves

00:33:26.580 --> 00:33:26.840
yeah

00:33:27.141 --> 00:34:04.641
as a kid as an adult as an adult i've seen a lot of shit and it's kind of it kind of numbed that for me like seeing stuff like that like uh shootouts i i was in a shootout where i heard bullets going by my ears i was i was i've seen people get shot i've seen and and the first time you see somebody get shot you're like oh fuck he got he got shot like what the hell and it's not a tv thing it's an actual thing and it doesn't happen like tv they get shot they yell and they're like ow that burns it's not like uh and they fall they fucking shoot and they're running and and running, and then they fall.

00:34:04.641 --> 00:34:05.142
They don't realize it.

00:34:05.142 --> 00:34:06.784
They don't realize what happened, right?

00:34:06.784 --> 00:34:08.264
Oh, that's something stunning.

00:34:08.264 --> 00:34:10.286
Like, you saw something bit me.

00:34:10.527 --> 00:34:11.027
Exactly.

00:34:11.027 --> 00:34:14.952
Everybody laughed at him, but that's probably really what it's like.

00:34:15.432 --> 00:34:17.896
That shit felt just like a bee sting or something.

00:34:17.896 --> 00:34:21.478
And the closest I got was skinned, and that shit burned.

00:34:21.478 --> 00:34:22.981
And it was on my pinky.

00:34:22.981 --> 00:34:27.945
And if it would have been like a centimeter over it, I probably would have lost a pinky.

00:34:29.628 --> 00:34:30.509
You would have had a pin.

00:34:30.509 --> 00:34:31.750
You would have had a

00:34:31.851 --> 00:34:33.231
pin instead of a pinky.

00:34:33.231 --> 00:35:03.764
hell yeah little nub and shit oh mc nub that would have been my name but that that shit would and if i was and i was a kid whenever i would see shoot a stupid gang shit that i went through when i was younger but did it traumatize me as much as it would have did when i was in high school like sitting there see somebody come in and shoot themselves i don't know i don't know i think it's more of a mindset of i hate to say this but how soft your mind is like what have you seen in like

00:35:04.045 --> 00:35:23.005
I think maybe the children of those kids probably suffered you know like of the parents were probably no like yeah of the kids that were in the classroom when they grew up and had children they were probably way overprotective

00:35:23.264 --> 00:35:23.505
yeah

00:35:23.666 --> 00:35:34.177
and imagine imagine like being a teenager and being like man I can't do nothing or my parents homeschool me because when they were in school some kid blew his head off in class.

00:35:34.416 --> 00:35:37.760
Imagine the teacher, because she sent him off to the principal's office.

00:35:38.342 --> 00:35:39.643
And they said she's never been the same.

00:35:39.663 --> 00:35:41.224
I bet.

00:35:41.224 --> 00:35:41.824
I forgot

00:35:41.864 --> 00:35:42.126
her name.

00:35:42.126 --> 00:35:42.826
You said it again.

00:35:42.846 --> 00:35:43.567
It was Faye.

00:35:43.567 --> 00:35:46.050
I was like, man.

00:35:46.050 --> 00:35:49.253
So he ended up getting the gun from the dad's female friend.

00:35:49.954 --> 00:35:51.416
So they did find out who he got

00:35:51.436 --> 00:35:51.936
the gun

00:35:52.757 --> 00:35:52.936
from.

00:35:52.936 --> 00:35:55.179
Oh, so he had a female friend already.

00:35:55.199 --> 00:35:58.884
And he had written notes to a couple of friends.

00:35:58.884 --> 00:36:00.664
I heard that he wrote something, but I didn't know that.

00:36:00.664 --> 00:36:02.807
Yeah, and he had sent cassettes.

00:36:02.807 --> 00:36:05.090
Basically, he was saying, I don't hate myself.

00:36:05.090 --> 00:36:08.373
I just hate the situation I'm in, like with my parents.

00:36:08.373 --> 00:36:10.235
I moved to a new school.

00:36:10.235 --> 00:36:11.356
I don't have any friends.

00:36:11.356 --> 00:36:13.159
I feel like I don't fit in is what it was.

00:36:13.239 --> 00:36:13.539
Yeah.

00:36:13.539 --> 00:36:15.420
See, I don't know.

00:36:15.420 --> 00:36:16.802
I didn't know him in Bryan Adams.

00:36:16.802 --> 00:36:18.985
But I know...

00:36:18.985 --> 00:36:19.045
He

00:36:19.766 --> 00:36:21.867
had been in a psychiatric hospital, too.

00:36:21.867 --> 00:36:23.128
I know he had.

00:36:23.128 --> 00:36:23.690
Oh, he did.

00:36:23.690 --> 00:36:23.769
See,

00:36:24.791 --> 00:36:25.612
I didn't know him.

00:36:25.612 --> 00:36:29.777
But when I saw his face, I knew I've seen him.

00:36:30.297 --> 00:36:30.496
Yeah.

00:36:30.878 --> 00:36:32.418
And when I saw the faces around him...

00:36:32.418 --> 00:36:34.161
I knew that wasn't Richardson.

00:36:34.161 --> 00:36:36.364
I was like, that's fucking where I went to school.

00:36:36.364 --> 00:36:38.246
Like those people I saw in my school.

00:36:38.246 --> 00:36:42.730
And, and to say that, did, did I ever rub elbows with him?

00:36:42.730 --> 00:36:43.570
Did I ever pick on him?

00:36:43.570 --> 00:36:46.313
No, I didn't pick on people like me and Angela talked about this.

00:36:46.313 --> 00:36:47.896
I used to take up for people.

00:36:47.896 --> 00:36:51.539
Like I was, I was always like, I did football and I did all that.

00:36:51.539 --> 00:36:52.681
And then I did the gang thing.

00:36:52.681 --> 00:36:52.960
Right.

00:36:52.960 --> 00:36:53.702
Stupidity.

00:36:53.702 --> 00:36:56.985
But I wouldn't let nobody pick on anybody like that.

00:36:56.985 --> 00:37:00.809
Like my cousin was gay and I couldn't stand it.

00:37:00.809 --> 00:37:02.952
If you picked on my cousin, that's my cousin.

00:37:02.952 --> 00:37:04.554
You don't do that.

00:37:04.554 --> 00:37:05.735
You just let him be.

00:37:05.735 --> 00:37:06.635
He loves who he loves.

00:37:06.635 --> 00:37:07.757
He wants to be who he wants to be.

00:37:07.757 --> 00:37:08.998
Is it affecting you?

00:37:08.998 --> 00:37:09.619
No.

00:37:09.619 --> 00:37:10.659
Then leave it be.

00:37:10.659 --> 00:37:11.981
You know what I'm saying?

00:37:11.981 --> 00:37:16.266
We only got one life on this earth and if you want to live it the way you want to live it to be happy, be happy.

00:37:16.266 --> 00:37:17.827
You know what I'm saying?

00:37:17.827 --> 00:37:18.969
And a lot of people can't take that.

00:37:18.969 --> 00:37:23.273
And I can honestly say I never picked on this boy.

00:37:23.273 --> 00:37:24.655
I never did anything wrong to this boy.

00:37:24.655 --> 00:37:28.559
I do remember him after I saw his picture.

00:37:28.559 --> 00:37:30.762
And it's vaguely remembering him.

00:37:30.762 --> 00:37:37.668
And it was amazing how I could put that together after seeing it online, his picture, and being like, I know that face.

00:37:37.668 --> 00:37:40.612
And it threw me for a loop.

00:37:40.612 --> 00:37:42.153
I'm like, this is crazy, man.

00:37:42.333 --> 00:37:48.199
People described him as just being a very sad boy and they wish that they would have befriended him.

00:37:48.199 --> 00:37:49.362
Yeah, I

00:37:49.402 --> 00:37:50.041
could see that.

00:37:50.041 --> 00:37:54.226
I guess anybody would say that, if I would have known.

00:37:54.226 --> 00:37:55.188
You know what

00:37:55.807 --> 00:37:56.048
I'm saying?

00:37:56.048 --> 00:37:57.329
Yeah, but you don't.

00:37:57.329 --> 00:37:58.130
That's the thing.

00:37:58.130 --> 00:38:00.653
People don't pick up on those cues.

00:38:00.893 --> 00:39:06.983
And I saw this today, as a matter of fact, as a online it was saying be nice to people because you don't know what they've been through today or you don't know what they're going through you know what I'm saying and I could be an asshole I really can and I could be stupid and be pissed off if somebody cuts me off I'm like shoot the finger off bitch but in my mind that's just stupidity at that time because it aggravated me but how do I know he just didn't lose somebody or she didn't lose somebody or you know their dog passed away or they just lost their job you know what I'm saying we don't think that way we think fast fast fast go go go in this society and for that kid who was a kid when I was a kid like he was 15 I had to be about 16 I had to be 16 years old at least I was a sophomore and to have him that close and find out that this song was written about him and it was somebody who was right there in my vicinity like what do they call that whenever you're 5 people away from uh knowing whatever his name was um

00:39:07.704 --> 00:39:11.449
you go into this mode of what what could i have done

00:39:11.489 --> 00:39:12.550
yeah like

00:39:12.610 --> 00:39:15.653
what how could i have affected anything changed that yeah

00:39:15.974 --> 00:39:39.960
and you really can't because i don't think that's that's the way it's supposed to be planned out to be so i didn't know that he left i knew he left a note but i didn't know he left tapes and notes yeah that's uh interesting because and then it was more about his situation with his family and he probably wasn't more happier at Bryan Adams he probably who knows he would have did it there we don't

00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:56.117
know yeah I mean it had to have been more so much more if he was in a in a psych hospital yeah well maybe it was from the same thing like where he because that wasn't that wasn't his first time that he had that he had said that he wanted to commit that he wanted to commit suicide

00:39:56.978 --> 00:40:11.731
and we've been well I say we've been through that I've been through that with my my daughter and And then, you know, a couple of people in my family and I was like, man, it's not easy because you feel like there's nothing you can possibly do.

00:40:11.731 --> 00:40:19.197
That is the worst feeling you could be as a parent and not being able to be that hero, that person who can just make it all better.

00:40:19.197 --> 00:40:23.302
You can't just hug them and say it's going to be you can do that, but it's not going to do anything.

00:40:23.302 --> 00:40:33.987
You know, and it's it takes it takes that person to have the power, but it takes you to give that power to be that back that that You got to be that backbone.

00:40:34.768 --> 00:40:35.108
Yeah.

00:40:35.108 --> 00:40:49.981
And I think the worst part about that is, is even when you do seek help, like I know someone that was kind of, that was close to me ended up going to one of those places because this person also, you know, had wanted to commit suicide or was cutting, they were cutting themselves.

00:40:49.981 --> 00:40:50.601
Oh yeah.

00:40:50.601 --> 00:40:58.969
And one of the, one of the things that was mentioned, um, was that they would manhandle them inside.

00:40:58.969 --> 00:41:01.871
So can you just imagine you're already going through all of

00:41:02.231 --> 00:41:02.731
this

00:41:02.771 --> 00:41:03.532
and And then, yeah.

00:41:03.532 --> 00:41:07.177
So, I mean, that could have been something else that he had to deal with.

00:41:07.177 --> 00:41:08.059
I mean, you just don't know.

00:41:08.059 --> 00:41:08.260
I believe

00:41:08.300 --> 00:41:08.460
that.

00:41:08.460 --> 00:41:09.521
I really believe that.

00:41:09.521 --> 00:41:11.465
You see stories about that, right?

00:41:11.465 --> 00:41:12.326
Or you see shows.

00:41:12.326 --> 00:41:19.315
Even Happy Gilmore had that one guy who treated his grandmother like shit when she was locked up and, you know, with the old folks

00:41:19.637 --> 00:41:19.737
on.

00:41:19.737 --> 00:41:20.237
Oh, my God, yes.

00:41:20.237 --> 00:41:21.018
You know what I'm talking

00:41:21.699 --> 00:41:21.880
about?

00:41:21.880 --> 00:41:22.000
Yes.

00:41:22.000 --> 00:41:22.561
And that's just...

00:41:22.561 --> 00:41:28.730
That's a playful way, but it really happens to the point of who's taking care of the people that you love?

00:41:28.730 --> 00:41:29.231
You know what I'm saying?

00:41:29.231 --> 00:41:30.092
Whenever they're locked up.

00:41:30.092 --> 00:41:30.833
And if...

00:41:30.833 --> 00:41:52.827
So, yeah, whenever my daughter went away and got help and came back and she had a lot of searching to do and she found herself and I'm happy and I'm happy that I'm happy that I'm still here to talk to her because at one time I didn't care if I was locked up the rest of my life to do something to somebody who had hurt her.

00:41:52.827 --> 00:42:07.382
And after being talked down from somebody, my friend who actually did time, I said, bro, 10, 15, years ago we could handle this he goes but your he goes your kids need you outside they don't need you inside

00:42:07.422 --> 00:42:09.844
yeah because you can't do anything from behind bars

00:42:10.085 --> 00:42:33.009
and that that really made me think that right there stopped me from even thinking about it and just focusing on her and and that's something that some a lot of these kids don't have so at the end of the at the end of the little document well the narration I did it was like you know we don't pay attention to the low voices of these kids or Or adults, too.

00:42:33.009 --> 00:42:35.472
We don't hear their silent yells.

00:42:35.472 --> 00:42:38.695
And I wrote a song about our ex-guitarist.

00:42:38.695 --> 00:42:42.179
He was our guitarist until he killed himself.

00:42:42.179 --> 00:42:48.585
And I wrote a song after a couple of months, and I call it Scream.

00:42:48.585 --> 00:42:57.275
And in my mind, I'm thinking, in his mind, being him, what is it like to do that?

00:42:57.275 --> 00:43:34.355
Like, I put myself in a situation of all that you're going through, all the things that running through your mind can anybody hear me scream or is it just me in my own head yelling like and I wonder if that's how it is or some of these people and they're so tired of screaming in their own head nobody helping them that they just say heck with it I don't know man it's it's uh it sucks and I'm I wanted to touch on this song because I I mean this this this person because I didn't realize how close it was to home even that we live in the same town or the same or where he used to live in.

00:43:34.355 --> 00:43:36.137
It went deeper than that.

00:43:36.556 --> 00:43:38.338
Or that you knew anyone that was close to him.

00:43:38.659 --> 00:43:41.682
Yeah, I mean, it's crazy.

00:43:41.682 --> 00:43:44.865
So, okay, here's what I'm going to do.

00:43:44.865 --> 00:43:53.375
If you know anybody who needs any help and you're thinking suicide, there's people out there that can help you.

00:43:53.375 --> 00:43:54.777
Help is available.

00:43:54.777 --> 00:44:00.101
You can pick up your phone and dial 988-SUICIDE-IN-CRISIS-LIFELINE and they'll help you.

00:44:00.101 --> 00:44:01.543
They're available 24 hours a day.

00:44:01.543 --> 00:44:05.407
They speak English, Spanish, and you can text 988.

00:44:05.407 --> 00:44:06.668
You can call 988.

00:44:06.668 --> 00:44:08.311
Hell, you can even chat.

00:44:08.311 --> 00:44:10.994
But get help.

00:44:10.994 --> 00:44:11.954
It's out there.

00:44:11.954 --> 00:44:15.278
And I'm glad the guy wrote it.

00:44:15.278 --> 00:44:25.489
Do y'all think writing this song and getting as popular as they got from this song, like there's more songs they got popular from, but this is one of the ones.

00:44:25.489 --> 00:44:29.393
You think that was in a bad way or did it need to

00:44:29.414 --> 00:44:29.733
be thrown out?

00:44:29.733 --> 00:44:45.871
I mean, this could have been something that he read the story and he's like shit this is how I felt before so he felt compelled to write it yeah it could have been a situation he probably didn't speak it but he probably had those same feelings and felt that he had he was a voice for that person

00:44:45.891 --> 00:44:48.454
there's a lot of musicians who go through a

00:44:49.554 --> 00:44:50.356
lot of the artists

00:44:50.456 --> 00:44:52.498
a lot of artists period like painters

00:44:52.699 --> 00:44:53.559
I mean Kurt Cobain

00:44:53.579 --> 00:44:54.440
oh yeah

00:44:54.880 --> 00:44:56.222
I don't see any negative from

00:44:56.262 --> 00:44:57.443
the

00:44:57.483 --> 00:45:00.327
song if anything it just brought more awareness

00:45:00.806 --> 00:45:02.009
I think it brought more more awareness.

00:45:02.009 --> 00:45:03.230
I didn't see anything bad about it.

00:45:03.230 --> 00:45:07.675
I think it, I think it got bigger than what they thought it was going to get.

00:45:07.675 --> 00:45:09.836
Like that song is just known.

00:45:09.836 --> 00:45:11.778
It's a great, it's great.

00:45:11.778 --> 00:45:12.440
It's put together.

00:45:12.440 --> 00:45:12.699
Great.

00:45:12.699 --> 00:45:20.407
And the words that come out after, you know, the story, and then you find out that it's actually based on some true events.

00:45:21.108 --> 00:45:24.733
I knew this song before I even knew anything like really like,

00:45:24.753 --> 00:45:25.954
yeah, me too.

00:45:26.193 --> 00:45:27.376
The story, the true story.

00:45:27.376 --> 00:45:27.596
Yeah.

00:45:27.775 --> 00:45:28.257
I knew the song.

00:45:28.257 --> 00:45:31.179
And then, then I heard, Oh, it's, it's about a kid who actually killed himself.

00:45:31.179 --> 00:45:50.000
And I'm like, no shit and then it's like yeah he killed himself in the Dallas area I'm like what the fuck you know I don't know it's just it really got me and I wanted to talk about it and it was supposed to be our second show but I decided we'd put it first because I've been really I stayed up late putting this stuff together

00:45:50.059 --> 00:45:51.561
last night you were eager to get it out I was

00:45:51.601 --> 00:45:58.588
so eager to get it out and then everything that I found out yesterday about me going to school with this kid I was like man

00:45:58.648 --> 00:45:59.949
even more

00:46:00.530 --> 00:46:17.349
yeah it's crazy I needed to get it out and to our listeners I know this isn't a normal one we usually cut up and you know X stupid do our thing but this is something I wanted to touch on and maybe it helps some people out there who going through it or who didn't know anything about Jeremy

00:46:17.389 --> 00:46:17.548
the

00:46:17.588 --> 00:46:32.567
song like there's a lot of young listeners out there too who maybe didn't know the real story yeah so yeah once again 988 is lifeline if you need any help or you have any suicidal thoughts.

00:46:32.567 --> 00:46:36.074
There's people out there and they can help you 24 hours a day.

00:46:36.074 --> 00:46:37.496
English or Spanish.

00:46:37.496 --> 00:46:40.422
Speaking other languages, I'm pretty sure they can help you the same way.

00:46:40.422 --> 00:46:46.134
So, on that note, live long and prosper.

00:46:46.355 --> 00:46:49.621
Because you never know where the force may take you.

00:46:49.621 --> 00:46:49.961
Peace.

00:46:49.961 --> 00:46:50.262
Bye.

00:46:50.262 --> 00:47:26.978
Disclaimer.

00:47:27.559 --> 00:47:29.143
Some of these facts have not been shared.

00:47:29.143 --> 00:47:29.965
These are just

00:47:30.005 --> 00:47:30.585
our opinions.

00:47:30.585 --> 00:47:37.981
Please don't come to our show for actual news.

00:47:37.981 --> 00:47:59.215
For help on suicide prevention or if you need somebody to talk to, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline number, 1-800-273-8255.

00:47:59.215 --> 00:48:05.505
Or you can call the three-digit number it was converted to, 988.

00:48:05.505 --> 00:48:08.009
There's always somebody to talk to.